The Familiarity of Jonah

A call has come from the horizons

Clear as a shout in my ear

Though, still, I turn my face

Still I run in fear

This is a short poem that I wrote at a time in my life about a month ago. I was presented with a crossroads in the direction of my life as a minister. I was given the opportunity to either stay at the church I was at or take a job at the church I grew up in. I feel such a relationship to Jonah because our situations are so similar. The words of the short story are jumping off the page at me. I knew from the instant the pastor at my home church asked me to come back what I was supposed to do. I was supposed to go back, but I was comfortable where I was. I was finally getting my ministry off the ground, meeting some new friends, and getting my feet wet in different areas. Needless to say, I fled to Tarshish.

I spent the next three weeks in a wrestling match with God on what he wanted me to do. I pretty much read through Psalms and Proverbs in three weeks trying to find a cop out, or as we Christians call it a “verse out,” of the direction God had shown my heart. This is basically what Jonah did, except he literally got on a boat and fled the Lord, as if he didn’t know what was going on. A side note: I love it how people think they can pull a fast one on God, including myself. Anyway, I found myself in the situation that Jonah was. I was hiding out in a boat, trying to sleep off my decision.

Of course we all know what happens next in the story. Jonah gets thrown off the ship. I walked into the office, sat my bag down, and my pastor walked out of his office and said, “Hey, let’s go for a ride.” He knew that I had to run to Radio Shack to get some connectors for the sound equipment. We were riding in the car talking about my situation and he said to me, “You need to make a decision by the end of today.” Splash, I was thrown into the water. I proceeded to tell him what God had been showing me and what the direction God wanted me to go in. He told me that all I had told him sounded like going back to my home church was I was supposed to do. I was still skeptical though. I still hadn’t told him that I was leaving for sure. I still had not made my choice. God was going to make it for me.

I did not get swallowed by a huge fish, but I did have to go up on the roof and replace a massive amount of lights that had either blown up, out, or off of the roof. In the silence, with only the sound of cars and wind, and the sun on my back I found myself praying to God, asking why and what to do. This point of the story directly relates back to Jonah where he was inside the fish, and he prayed to God, “In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and you listened to my cry” (Jonah 2:2). I completed all the lights on the roof, and stood up to head back down. On my walk back I caught my brand new shoes on the metal sheeting and they ripped. That was the catalyst that sent me into a breakdown. On that roof I felt like Jonah when he said, “I have been banished from your sight” (2:4). I was literally jumping around on the roof yelling with tears in my eyes, crying out to God for help. When I was climbing down from the roof, I knew what God wanted me to do, and I had known the entire time exactly what it was: go to Nineveh.

When I got down off the roof I knew what I was supposed to do. I went to my pastor and told him that God was leading me to leave. He just looked at me and said okay. I know he was happy for me because I was following God’s direction in my life. To this day, knowing that my pastor has the gift of discernment, I think he knew all along what I was supposed to do. He just wanted me to make the decision for myself. This part of the story seems kind of out of place and obviously important. I relate this to Jonah getting vomited up on the beach by the whale after he knew what he was supposed to do.

So I went to Nineveh, slightly anxious and uncertain what was going to happen.  But I just held God’s hand and walked behind him. And I still am uncertain, and do not know what’s really going on or why I’m here, but I am trusting God. You're probably wondering about the end of the book of Jonah where he is angry with God for not destroying Nineveh. I'm still working through that... It's hard to leave your comfort zone (ironic considering I'm going to my home church) when things aren't working the way you had thought. I wouldn't trade my experience at the church I left for anything. I learned more there in 6 months than I did in 3 years worth of internships other places. I'll miss it, but with God's help I am facing the future.